The Eurovision Song Contest. Or as I like to call it, VOTE FOR YOUR NEIGHBOUR!

It really is ridiculous, how many countries just vote for their neighbours in the Eurovision. It just defies the entire point of the competition. It’s called “The Eurovision Song Contest”. For one thing, since when is Israel in Europe? Or even Azerbaijan for that matter? Secondly, they’re not fooling anybody with all this “Song Contest” malarkey. It is not a song contest, it’s just politics. “Hmmmm, we’ll vote for them, they’re our neighbours, or we’ll vote for them, they gave us money. But we won’t vote for them, they refused to give us more money!” It really is horrendous!

I wouldn’t mind it if the acts were actually good! But the majority of them were terrible! I mean seriously, what were some of these countries thinking? Why on earth would you enter these acts into an international competition? They’re boring at best, and disturbing at worst. They were honestly the screechiest songs I’ve ever heard, and I watch X-factor! Seriously Albania (below) made my ears bleed…

But there were some good acts. Italy had a good song, that sounded like a mix between Imelda May and Amy Winehouse. I thought Moldova were good, but I think I’m on my own there. The winners, Sweden were very deserving of their title. They entered a sort of alternative popish song, which was very different, but definitely worked. Then there was the Russian grannies. They were very entertaining, I can see why they came second. I also though Iceland were good aswell, but again, I’m the only one who thinks so…

Sweden, with the winning song, Euphoria.  And then there’s Jedward. Ah Jedward, we had such high hopes for them, but unfortunately it was all for nothing. It was a good song, but their performance was dire, their costumes were horrendous, and their voices were barely audible. But we (Ireland) still thought they’d do well. Heck, quite a few people thought they’d win it! Most of Ireland were behind them, and because we know them, we actually cared about them, rather than just a random act that we didn’t know. They made us more interested in the competition as a whole. But it was all for nothing as they placed nineteenth in the end. But hey, at least we beat the UK!

And as for the actual show, what was going on with the introductory videos? Azerbaijan, land of carpets? Azerbaijan, land of tea? Well the tea thing I can appreciate. I do love tea…

Perhaps the only good thing about the Eurovision this year was Marty Whelan. Marty is the presenter of the Irish showing of the contest, and let me just say, the man is a legend! He’s so sarcastic (three cheers for sarcasm *cheer, cheer, cheer*) and his comments just make the show. He also has a rather excellent moustache and lives very near me. If I had to compare him to anybody, it’d be Dave Lamb, narrator of Come Dine With Me. Let’s face it, that show would be nothing without him, and his well placed comments…

That’s about it, so until next time just remember:

I secretly love the Eurovision,. and jazz hands make everything better. Everything that is, except the Albanian entry…

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